Before a baby human is born, their mental health foundation—and therefore, their health trajectory—has already begun.
Even while still inside their mother’s belly, the child begins to sense the societal expectations passed on to their parents.
Most “parents-to-be” have good intentions, of course.
But little do they know that their so called “good intentions” disguised as societal brainwashing and expectations, are already creating resistance for that baby—planting the seeds for struggle down the road.
“I want my baby to have a happy life.” - yes this is great
“By happy I mean that this baby has to conform to all the societal norms I was taught define success.”
“By that I mean: they have to be good boys and girls, and make sure they are following the sequence of life events that our society has deemed as successful. Well, I followed it…and I think I am happy? So, they need to follow it too. That’s how they will be happy. So, I will hold on to this expectation and teach this (force it upon) my kid.”
Why mental health problems are increasing by the second
I have a theory.
This theory took shape through my own lived experience—first as a parent, and especially after working with hundreds of wealthy and “successful” clients over the years: athletes, celebrities, executives. One thing became unmistakably clear—only about 0.001% of them were truly happy.
A person’s entire life state of being — whether it will be mostly healthy or not, in both mindset and biochemical ways — hinges on the definition of success held by their parents and how happy those parents are with their own lives.
This gets crystally clear passed down to the child, who then grows up with it ingrained in their body that they don’t have access to an infinite number of life paths.
That to be seen as successful—to have a life worth living—they must justify their existence by:
be good boys and girls when they are growing up,
going to school and getting good grades,
sitting in classrooms and forcing themselves to follow rules,
going to college (of course)
getting a “good” job,
working like a dog,
saving money,
and let’s not forget getting married,
having kids,
buying a house,
adding a million moving parts to life that steal their focus, (REMOVING useless moving parts is part of my health framework foundation)
staying in a marriage they’re not happy in because of the kids,
pretending they’re happy because of a “’til death do us part” vow, even if it’s killing them,
reaching middle age and realizing they’ve been building a life for others,
or never realizing it—and just going on blindly,
worrying about retirement,
saving money like there’s no tomorrow,
and then dying.
What does this tell us?
There is no meditation, breathwork, therapy—not even AI therapy (haha)—that can offset the mental health barrage of a life built on this foundation.
And this is what makes people get old—very fast.No matter how many sexy tests you do, diets you try, or podcasts you listen to.
This life pattern—shapeshifting into someone else’s idea of success—overloads your system with useless moving parts. It dilutes your connection to who you really are. And that’s what accelerates health collapse.It’s also what makes mental health feel unhealable.
You cannot heal your life or your healthunless this foundational knowing is rooted deep in your bones:
That YOU have a choice.That YOU are free to create the most beautiful life that YOU want to live.
This starts young.
Very young.
My kids have teenage friends already living in high-pressure cookers—trying to justify their existence through grades, awards, prizes, accolades…And yet, their mental health is already shot.They’re anxious. They’re medicated. They’re pulling away from parents who think the child “didn’t fulfill the dreams we had when they were just a baby.”No wonder some of these kids turn to drugs.
Drugs become their only relief.What else do they have?
Now, if that is not tragic, I don’t know what is.
It’s hard at first.To accept the truth.To take those first 1 or 2 steps.
But then it gets easier.And lighter.And truer.
After all, we are all going to die one day.
That’s certain.
And YOU are the one who is living your life NOW, not anyone else.
So make it yours—no matter what kind of “success” you see in other people’s half-lived lives.
