I was on Instagram the other day and a reel popped up.
A guy talking about being completely maxed and exhausted at night and then suddenly cleaning drawers and cabinets as if someone was coming over to inspect them.
And I had an immediate, visceral yes in my body.
Because I have seen this exact pattern in hundreds of clients.
Then I read the comments.
And the comments were revealing and diagnostic as shit.
Here is what people said. Verbatim.
M.M.
I work full time, and I have my own small business I do part time. Tell me why I hand made all my daughters birthday decorations for her first birthday and had the party in my house for 18 kids and their parents 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
I was a bit better this year. I bought all the decorations but we did have 20 kids their parents and a petting farm come to the house 😂🙈, I’m also pregnant with our second, next year I think I will get the hang of it
T.E.
Since Monday I’ve been cleaning and organizing nonstop. I honestly thought I was just crazy — I had no idea this was a thing.
A.A.
Y relax the weekends by cooking 20 course Michelin star meals 🤣 Let’s make beef wellington with 6 sides, two desserts and eggnog
E.Z.
Resting, I mean truly resting is not easy 😩
M.S.
Because our parents generation was a bunch of people who had no business raising children and basically made us into little adults at age of 5 so we all are a bunch of traumatized people who cannot relax because if we’re in fight or flight waiting for the next thing to happen so if we’re doing something being productive things are fine
B.B.
You're not describing something specific to a generation. It's just getting older.
C.A.
Just deep cleaned the kitchen sink and cleared my fridge while I was supposed to relax waiting for my food to be ready
H.S.
I’m 41 from a long line of those kind of people…. I ain’t doing it!!! If I start something that’s where I end up… I don’t like it!!🤷🏽♀️
R.A.
Argh. We need to keep reminding ourselves, it's ok to relax, stop, rest. That is the work too and we deserve it 🤍
A.A.
Me currently vacuuming while my feet are sore 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🏽♀️
F.W.
Boomer fkn parents ruined us.
R.F.
Cause our mom's would come yell at us whenever we were doing nothing so we learned that doing nothing was unsafe and if we kept moving our moms wouldn't yell at us.
This is how Perpetual Recovery Mode is created.
Quietly. Repeatedly. Early.
An external center of gravity gets installed in childhood.
Being busy equals being safe.
Movement equals approval.
Stillness equals trouble.
No one sits you down and teaches this explicitly. It is taught behind the scenes, through tone, reactions, pressure, praise, and relief.
Over time, action blocks accumulate.
Recovery never clears the system.
Stress chemistry stays elevated.
The body adapts.
It learns to keep going while stressed.
To move even when exhausted.
To discharge stress through usefulness.
To self-soothe through motion.
Even when no one is watching.
Even when no one is coming over.
Even when the cost keeps rising.
This is classic Perpetual Recovery Mode.
The system is exhausted but stuck in stress chemistry, so it self-soothes through motion and usefulness.
This is not psychological. It is biochemical.
It often shows up after midlife as aches, pains, and wrinkles that people blame on aging. That’s not the cause.
Then people chase longevity protocols.
Testing.
Botox.
Diets to lose cortisol fat.
They spend decades afraid of disease, complaining about getting old, and wondering why nothing truly restores them.
The pattern emerges when the center of gravity is outsourced to approval instead of internal regulation.
Vitality OS exists to move that center back inside the body.
To complete recovery.
To clear action blocks.
To restore authorship.
To stop paying compound interest on stress.
To learn how real biological rhythm actually works.
To use that rhythm to match your own life, load, timing, and recovery instead of overriding it.
This is not about doing less.
It is about restoring the capacity to actually recover.
And until that happens, productivity will keep masquerading as health while the body quietly pays the bill.
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Helena Bianchi Vitality Systems Architect |
| Biochemist | Former Cancer Researcher | 25+ Years Transforming High-Performer Health |
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🌐 helenabianchi.com 📧 [email protected] |
| Helping high-achievers eliminate stress and burnout and rebuild the foundations of energy, focus, and resilience. |
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