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I'm Helena, transforming 15+ years of health optimization insights into bite-sized wisdom that helps you create lasting vitality. Each week, I share frameworks that cut through health confusion and help you build your unique path to vibrant health.
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When shit hits the fan, that’s when you know who is really your side.
And THIS is a BIG part of creating health for yourself.
Knowing clearly who is truly there for you, who is not, and who is pretending to be is a milestone in health creation.
Being emotionally attached to people who are so friendly and helpful and seem to care when everything is great but who judge and talk about you behind your back is a HEALTH DISASTER waiting to happen.
Being around this kind of energy is like a knife in the heart - YOUR BODY KNOWS.
This has MAJOR biochemical and mental health consequences.
The most traumatizing and hard to accept situations are not the people who are jerks and straight away don’t resonate.
The most traumatizing and disease promoting situations are those friendships where you thought were indeed on your side, but when you decided to stand up for your health, for who you really are you see the true colours of their character. And you realize “hey, wait a minute. I thought you were on my side.”
Don’t get me wrong, it is not that they changed, it is that you ignored very subtle red flags from the very beginning.
And, granted, sure this might be their own trauma and their own issues to be solved but still, you don’t have to be around to take the projection of that. What a waste of life.
I was driving my son Jack to his friend’s house today and thinking about the culmination of my life for the last almost 5 months after I quit a job situation that was possibly one of the most toxic places I have ever experienced in my life.
These past 5 months have been an enlightening, albeit a rollercoaster ride of realizing truly, here in the present real NOW, who OWNS their friendship (professional or otherwise) to me and who doesn’t.
People I thought were my friends, good professional contacts, all showed their true colours - status quo is more important to them.
In not owning their support of me given the choices I made, they are basically revealing their character and saying:
“I still worry about what other professionals, doctors, think of me and if I support Helena’sa actions fully I am revealing my beliefs and values to the status quo - which are contrary theirs and they won’t see me in a good light anymore, therefore, I pretend to be on her side so she thinks I am a good person but truly I am not. I am sneaky as hell.”
When you really need support, are the people in your life and in your network going to come forward with true real help? Do your great professional contacts who know so many people will truly connect you to who matters when you need it?
This is not about financial help. This is about INTEGRITY HELP. OWNING and HONORING your relationship, whatever that is.
Connecting the dots going backwards, it is clear now who they pretended to be.
There were many signs. But I wanted to be positive and focus on the good things we shared but that was of no use.
I am a big fan of the law of attraction. But the law of attraction ONLY works if there is a foundational resonance happening there coming from both sides. Trying to bypass this WILL backfire majorly.
After weeks of silent meditation time, many tapping meditations later, and many crying moments I have grieved and let go of all of those so called ‘friends’ and ‘good professional connections.’
I have a HARD RULE in my life now.
I don’t hesitate to burn a bridge if that is not serving the advancement and fulfillment of my life.
If I don’t feel we are in the same resonant plane, there will be no get togethers and not much interaction either.
My health DETERIORATED GREATLY from these connections of no integrity. My biochemical soup was a mess and not to mention all of the time AND FOCUS I wasted.
I feel the difference now with having a small circle of people who truly care. Interactions with these people have me feeling energized, expanded, and ready for more life amazingness.
Life is flowing with my precious current connections. Things are easier. Work is easier. Exercising is easier. Eating healthier is easier. Significantly downregulating my nervous system not necessary any more, even though I am still healing from last year.
This stands as one of the MOST IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS of all time and I want to make sure to WRITE THIS DOWN HERE FOREVER:
Don’t hesitate to burn bridges with GUSTO when your body tells you so.
Compassion and kindness to ONESELF first and foremost. This is what it means to be of true service to the world.
Toxic bridges will keep you from creating new beaming, healthy, and more expansive bridges that will make you healthier, not sicker.
And here is a little secret: there is an infinite number of amazing bridges out there to partake in.
Forget the new fashionable longevity pillars of health - these matter NOTHING if your heart is still connected to toxic bridges that are making you die a painful slow death.